The Case for Decisions: Are you good at them?

Some decisions are simple while others are painful and complicated. In our culture, decision-making often becomes easier when we prioritize the people involved—but too often, that means prioritizing ourselves, ‘me first.’

For three years John and Laura seemed to be doing well in their marriage until John had an office affair. The lady got pregnant, although lost the baby a few months after. Since then, John had gone through counseling, and taken serious steps to stay right. It’s now six years of marriage. Thankfully, peace and trust were gradually returning.

It was a Friday night, one of their now-regular outings. They called it “Pleasant Days and Exquisite Nights Dining,” a beautiful restaurant located along coastal shoreline. It was a cool, breezy evening—perfect for a romantic night out. Both had been looking forward to it. As soon as they settled into their chairs, they began taking in the beautiful sceneries’ sights and sound: the fresh open air, the softly lit patio, the smell of sizzling entrées, and smooth jazz music playing in the background.

Shortly after, Laura excused herself to the restroom, one of John’s exes, Sonia, spotted him. They had not seen each other in three years. Sonia and John had dated briefly in their teenage years. She appeared to be the kind who could get back on John’s side if things worked out. She genuinely liked John back then and he knew it but life had turned them in different directions. Sonia, a natural beauty, carried herself with confidence - grace and curves, still the way John had once liked her. Yes, saved, and loves Jesus, but thankful for what God and her momma gave her.

John asked how she was doing. Her husband had passed away not too long ago. Sonia responded, “Yeah, it’s been three difficult years. I miss him every day. Of course, you guys got along well, thank you, I know, I miss him too.”

Just then, Laura returned. She had turned the corner and was only a few steps from the table when she caught the last part of Sonia’s sentence. But what she heard sounded like, “thank you, I know, I miss you too.” Sonia said it while slightly swaying from side to side in a natural, feminine way as she adjusted her hair. The words appeared innocent, but the body movement could betray that innocence.

Sonia’s back was turned toward Luara as she approached the table. Sonia noticed Laura only after John’s smiling face, his natural affect, had shifted to recognize his wife as she came closer. John attempted to introduce Laura to Sonia, but by then Laura’s face had changed completely. She had turned pale with fury and appeared deeply wounded.

“You are so despicable,” she shouted. “Now I see. I should never have trusted you again,” she said without giving John a chance to speak. “No mas, no mas,” she shouted in her mother tongue. With that, she stormed out of the restaurant, John and Sonia standing stunned. 

Those were painful words, weren’t they? What should John do? He was changed man. Yet one surface-level situation had destroyed a night of careful planning and probably their future together.

Was it still worth going on with Laura? After all, this was not the first time she had assumed infidelity without real evidence. And then there was the fact that she was often busy most nights, which made things difficult for John when he needed her. The good thing, perhaps, was that they do not have any child yet. Should he simply cut his losses and leave, it’s been only six years?

Two weeks in; Laura had packed her belongings to stay with some girlfriends and blocked her phone from his number. Twice John reached her by phone on the job, but she had refused to talk for more than a few minutes but still she was unconvinced. According to her, she saw and heard it. For John, would this be their story from here on out, suspicion, distance and walls?  Was this marriage too troubled to be salvaged? What about Sonia, could that be the way?

For Laura, she saw and heard what she did and now finds it difficult to trust John. Is she going to allow herself to go on with him? And for how long? Or is it better to cut her losses at this time? She had recently been thinking of quitting her job (which happens to pay quite handsomely), for a less paying one, just to have more time to think about her life, marriage, children and long-term goals. Is this God’s way of saying, don’t quit?

Take a position and argue for it; John or Laura?

So, you’re John’s friend, what will you advise him?

If you were Laura’s friend and you believed what she thought she saw and heard, what would you say?

Defend your position. Include scriptures and/or experience if you can.